Best Jokes
What's small and green and goes up and down?
A pea in an elevator
What do you call a person with a beer his head and on each shoulder and holding a snooker cue?
Beatrix Potter
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper
What do you call a man with leaves in his pants?
Russell
Why did the football coach give his team lighters?
Because they kept losing their matches
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen
What did the tornado say to the car?
Want to go for a spin?
Why don't sausages have no manners?
They spit in the frying pan!
My teacher said I was very good at woodwork
I would work but I can't be bothered!
What is the difference between a Teacher and a train?
The Teacher says "Spit your gum out" and the train says "Choo choo"
Can February March?
No . . . April May
Why do crabs go to jail?
Because they pinch stuff
What happens if you cross a frog and a rabbit?
A Frabbit
What do you call a girl between two towers?
Ali [Alley]
What dance do you do in the bathroom?
Tap dancing!
What is a snake's favourite subject?
Hissssstory
Jim: "Did anyone tell you that you have a lovely pair of legs?"
Tom: "Well no . . ."
Jim: "I'm not surprised!"
Why did the traffic lights blush?
Because they had to change in public"
Why did the tomato blush?
It saw Mr Green Pea over the wall
If you have any jokes please send them to me and I’ll add them to my site
