Letter received by the B&Q customer services department:

 

Dear Sir/Madam

My congratulations to you on getting a yacht to leave the UK on 28th

November 2004, sail 27,354  miles around the world and arrive back 72

days later.

Could you please let me know when the kitchen I ordered 96 days ago

will be arriving from your warehouse 13 miles away?

 

Yours Sincerely

John Roberts