Miscellaneous
The Wonders of Technology
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe said to Mike behind him,
“My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I am going to have to go and line up at
the walk-in clinic, seeing as I don’t have my own doctor anymore.”
“Listen, you don’t have to waste that kind of time and money,” Mike replied.
“There’s a new state-of-the-art diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. You just
give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what you
can do to treat it on your own. It takes ten seconds and costs £10 . . . a lot
less hassle than any walk-in clinic or emergency hospital.”
So Joe deposited a urine sample in a small jar and took it to Wal-Mart. He
deposited £10, and the computer lit up and asked for the urine sample. He poured
a few drops into the slot and waited. Ten seconds later, the computer ejected a
printout:
“You have Lateral Epicondylitis tendonitis (more commonly known as tennis
elbow). Soak your arm in warm Epsom salts and avoid straining the joint or any
heavy activity. It should improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @
Wal-Mart.”
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began
wondering if the computer could be fooled. In a an old food blender, he mixed
some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and a personal sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurried back to
Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.
He deposited £10, poured in his concoction, and waited for the results. The
computer printed the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
(Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5.
If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow won't get better.
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
If you have any jokes please send them to me and I’ll add them to my site